I haven't written much, lately, but as an update I got fired from Subway for asking if I could transfer to another location. This just gives me more time to knit blankets for Christmas, however, so I'm not all that down about it. There are plenty of other minimum wage jobs out there. I just hope I can find something full time and maybe another job for part time.

Kate and I got to finally go out on Thursday. We went to Chilis and she got a salad, I got the molten chocolate cake and it was delicious! I figured I'd order dessert first in case I ordered a meal and got too full to have any. Incidentally, the cake ate like a meal! It was huge! (For me, anyway.) And it was so yummy! There was a stream of melted vanilla ice cream and chocolate goo running like a tiny stream out of the center of my cake and all the caramel was so good!

Kate got a beer and I got a strawberry margarita. It was really really good, I just regret that I didn't get to finish it because the next movie showing of Dark Knight was right on our tails so we had to haul it to the theater. She paid for both of our meals and we were behind. So, of course, we got there in the middle of the previews and I have to say, it was a really awesome movie. I'm sorry, but of all the super heros, Batman is my favorite. But I'll confess that for the most part I've always rooted for the villains. The villains are my favorites! I especially love Harley Quinn. I also love The Scarecrow and The Mad Hatter.

After the movie Kate took me home, although I'm not totally sure why. Maybe she wanted to go to bed. Maybe she had something to do the day after. I still have her birthday presents from January. I hope I can get them to her sometime in the near future. I felt stupid for forgetting them. On the other hand, she'd remembered my Christmas present. She got me this really cute bracelet with crystals and beads that look like sushi rolls.

Unfortunately, I got into a tant with a friend online and went to bed, crying. I spent Friday on sleeping pills, but Tod and I went to Zombo's Art Gallery and got to see Lucky the Pain-proof Man do a street performance. I went because I met Lucky on MySpace because he said he'd like to do a shoot with me. And the idea of a street performance normally seen in side-shows was too much to pass up. So we got to see him breathe fire, eat a lightbulb, walk on broken glass, get jumped on while laying in broken glass, put spinal tap needles through his face, and other pretty awesome things that you just HAVE to see.

Meanwhile, people passing by in cars were staring and quite a few of them pulled over to get out and see. Neighbors near the Zombo Gallery came out to take pictures. It was really interesting. Afterwards, Tod and I went to Steak and Shake and I got an awesome mocha shake with cookies and cream bits and a chicken taco salad. We came home after that, and I was still sedated from the sleeping pills, but I stayed up until 7am finding new music on playlist.com and zoning out.

I'm currently sick with a sore throat and cough and after the drinking and smoking and all the lack of sleep and sleeping pills, I've just about kicked my own ass. Note to everyone: drinking, smoking, pills, not sleeping and not eating right has awful results on the body. And may I also note that I don't drink, smoke, and take pills often. (I do hardly sleep and I do eat more sugar than nutritional foods regularly, however lol)

I got Michelle's presents sent and the post office said she should get them by her birthday, so we're both very happy! I'm really happy that everyone is making her birthday week out to be so great. She got a special dinner, she went to a party, and she's gone to another party again today. She seems to be in a really good mood, even though something I said last night hurt her. I'm not totally sure how guys do it, dealing with girls. But then again I don't know any guys dating two people of two different genders that know about each other, either.

There's a high demand for me to be monogamous, but I just can't find happiness in having one person at any given time. I have a friend who is exactly the same way, so I don't feel so strange about it. I think the only problem I have with it is if I had children. I'm not sure I'd care to raise children to think that having two or more lovers is the right thing to do. I also wouldn't want their peers to say things that hurt them or have them be confused. But I'll cross that bridge when I get to it, I suppose. Maybe in my older age, I'll calm down and can the romantics and the sexuality. For right now, I'm 23, and I'm going to make the most of my youth and energy.

I can blame it on being an Aquarius, can't I?

No way. I'm taking full responsibility for my actions. This was all MY idea! lol

I spent all of today sleeping. I have a lot of social things to deal with. Or maybe I can just return to bed and actually let my body recover and maybe get rid of this cold? That sounds like a really good idea, right now. And maybe when I wake up this evening I can continue knitting. For anyone that doesn't know, knitting takes longer than crocheting. It took me about 6 weeks to make a scarf, knitting in what spare time I could find. But I do it because I can't seem to crochet well and I like the feel of knit.

It may take a long time, but it's so satisfying to see the finished product. Right now, the scarf I made for myself as my very first knitting project is my favorite scarf and favorite winter accessory. It's so incredibly soft and warm. Now, for my second project, I just want to make a blanket that's just as soft and warm. Two checker pattern blankets and two really soft, fluffy blankets. I can't wait until I get them done. I'll be so happy to be able to give them as gifts for Christmas to family. I just hope they turn out nice.

Until then, I'll rest and get better.

-Rin



[Skullz n Crossbones]

When I was in middle school and failing 8th grade for the second time, it was required for me to take an IQ test, as was requested by my psychologist who realized almost immediately that I'm bright as a new copper penny (ok, pennies these days are made of zinc, but that's beside the point). So I took the tests over a period of a couple of days.

I skipped school, but I came in for the testing and I'd leave again directly afterward. No breakfast, because entering that building literally made me sick and breakfast was not an option unless I wanted to upchuck. I also went in half-asleep as the testing was about 7:30am, if I remember. I want to think that if I was more awake and had eaten I probably would have done better.

My score revealed a 113 IQ. Here's a table so you can interpret what this means, if you believe in IQ tests. (We can't exactly state, just yet, what "intelligence" really means. At least, last that I've checked.)

IQ	Description	% of Population
130+	Very superior	2.2%
120-129	Superior	6.7%
110-119	High average	16.1%
90-109	Average	50%
80-89	Low average	16.1%
70-79	Borderline	6.7%
Below 70	Extremely low	2.2%

So I was in the "high average" range in 8th. When I was 18 I took another IQ test and returned with the results of 136. (Read: Very superior.) Now, that's not a genius IQ. 140-145 is intellectual IQ, and anything above 145 is genius. The surprising thing about it is... I can't multiply.

Now, this is a fact I've cried about several times. I didn't memorize the "tables". My parents didn't take the initiative to help me advance and as any little kid I thought, "I'd rather be playing than looking at this chart". I know, now, how incredibly and extremely important math is. And I also find it amusing that despite not knowing what 7 x 7 is without a pen and paper, yet I got As in Algebra and helped other students pass.

Meanwhile, in my advanced subject of English, I was only achieving Cs. I've always loved writing and English has always been my best subject. I also helped other students pass in that subject, but mostly through cheating and pre-class reviews in the hall on the way to class. Did anyone really read The Crucible in my class?

So now comes time for Entrance Exams! And guess who absolutely fails at multiplying fast enough to complete the math sections without going, "I don't know!" and filling in whatever random answer they feel. And I sit there thinking, "Why is it the FOIL method, when I remember 'first inner, outer last? That's FIOL! First outer, inner last. But they taught us to solve the inside first! Which do I do?!" Let's say that my low math scores were not, in the least bit, a light touch to the ego.

So now I am doing my damnest to be the most embarrassed person I know and learn my multiplication (screw the tables!) and to brush up on Algebra. (The Algebra is no where near embarrassing as having 1st and 2nd grade students quiz me and me getting the wrong answer and them getting the right one.) Everyone is better at basic math than me, which makes me feel like an incompetent reject.

I take solace in knowing that there are people much older and far worse than me at basic math. The problem isn't in my intellect. I can understand and remember concepts, with enough work I can get methods down fairly easily. The problem is that I haven't been taught and I haven't practiced enough to do so.

What bothers me is that I'm 4-9 points away from a genius IQ score. If I improved my math skills, if I learned, if I found that one little key, I'd advance in my test taking and make up for my deficit math score side on my test and raise my score possibly (more than likely) enough to be able to come home and not feel bad when I don't understand what people are talking about. Because I'll know that I'm smart and it's all a matter of "I'm zoning out" or "I wasn't informed as they were".

I spent my whole life with people telling me I'm very smart, I'm intelligent, even getting that little comment saying, "You're the smartest person I know!" I don't know why it's so important. But knowing I'm smart has always been important to me. Still working on trying to be definite upon whether I'm pretty or not. I'd really like to be a girl who has the body of a model but the brain of a scientist.

Especially after being subjected to girls whose knowledge is limited only to "That guy in -name a band- is SO cute. I totally know a guy who looks like him. Kinda sorta like? Haha he's like soooo cute but I won't date him cause he like... has a crappy geo metro. I totally wouldn't ever be caught in one of THOSE cars. Wouldn't that be so like... funny??" The conversation is so revolting. And I start to think, "So you're what a one night stand consists of? Interesting. I hope you don't reproduce."

And why is it every time I tell people I have a gifted IQ, every one on the internet tries to tell me that they have a genius IQ? Without fail, someone, at least one person, has to tell me that they're a genius. Somehow I greatly doubt there are so many "geniuses" on the internet. Seeing as people with a genius IQ are only .25% of the population.

That's not even half of 1%, that's half of one half of 1%. Yet there seem to be SO MANY geniuses when I bring the subject up. But somehow these same people don't seem all that bright to me. Although I do know I've met at least one person smarter than me, although he wasn't as socially intelligent. He had the numbers, the logic, the reasoning, he was brilliant but he couldn't figure out that you need to talk to girls before one will date you.

Does anyone else suck as bad as me at math on here? I wonder.

-Rin